The rejection bias…

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Hat: Primark

Jacket: Zara

Jumper: Zara (sold out online the reason why I got this jumper was because i was eyeing up this one… my mum convinced me to get this jumper and so happy she did I just adore it!)

Skirt: Zara (sold out online similar one here)

Socks: Asos

Boots: Zara

I did not tell anyone about my career interview (apart from my mum, but I tell her almost everything so she doesn’t count) as I did not want to make myself too nervous and not get it… even though that is what happened. 

I remember seeing the letter through my mailbox, with the company logo on it and I thought, this is it. This will tell me if I got my first proper adult job, in a field I love, for a company that I have faith in and would be so happy to help them achieve their goals.

My heart was pounding.

I was chatting to my flatmate about something, I genuinely can not remember for the life of me what I was chatting to Caz about. I soon as I saw that letter (with the sides chewed up a little as Phoebe, my fur baby rag doll cat, likes to bring me the mail but sometimes it is too big for her wee frame and she leaves it in the hall or brings it to me if I am in) My thumping heart felt like it was about to explode out of my chest and I stopped in mid-sentence. I ripped the envelope open to reveal my first official letter of rejection.

I was rejected before after an interview but that one was via email and it seemed less final than this one. This was there in black and white and it was incredibly…. official. I know that sounds like an obvious thing to say but that is the only word that comes to mind! Caz asked how I did and all I could say was that I did not get it.

I am a very big believer in owning your emotions.  Bottling up stuff is never a good thing because it can lead to physical ailments if you bottle it up too much. Although there is also a time and a place to express those feelings. Sometimes when I am incredibly upset at work I wait until I am on my break and have a good cry. Although when I am overwhelmed and the tears escape from my eyes before I can shut them down I hide my face until they stop, and thankfully when that happens it is not very noticeable that I have been crying so I can last until my shift is finished.

However I digress, in that moment, in the spirit of honesty my first initial feeling was immediate sadness and tears. I was so excited to get out of a job that has been causing me incredible stress as of late and I had been so looking forward to throwing myself into a new job with my new blog going side by side together.

Alas that was not meant to be and I did not want to dwell on my sadness. That was not going to help me better my skillset; my next feeling was perseverance. I wanted to know where my gaps were and what I needed to work on to better myself. From my perseverance the next thought was to get feedback, and the best way of obtaining constructive and helpful feedback, which is not always easy to find. I remember I asked for feedback from an application rejection. They said I needed to stand out more,  which was at least SOME feedback (most do not, they just ghost your emails which is understandable as they have probably received hundreds of applicants but still very frustrating) it is not very helpful… how can I stand out more? How can I be more than what I have already achieved/in the process of achieving!? Sometimes it can be the wording in your application that can make the difference (more power words and authoritative language that highlights how YOU have successfully contributed) or the layout (One page is not enough, three is too much, the perfect number is two) or the look (I have made mine a creative CV to highlight the fashion projects I have been apart of and made use of my photoshop skills).

But with this rejection there was hope; at the end of my interview the interviewer said that they as a company appreciated feedback whether it is giving or receiving and would I be willing to meet/speak to them about the interviewing process.

OF COURSE!

My next plan of action was to arrange a feedback meeting and they interviewee has been incredibly prompt at getting back to me so I am incredibly excited to turn this rejection into a learning curve to improve myself and then become one step closer to achieving my adult-ing career job!  And in the spirit of my blogging style I did some research into the best ways to deal with job rejection and came across this interesting blog post by the muse called “How to Move on When You Didn’t land the Job” who highlighted an interesting notion..

That rejection bias is inherently in your programming!

This post stated that rejection is highlighted and focused on by our brains as they are programmed to be blown out of proportion by our neuro-pathways (okay that blog post does not go into that much detail, my curiosity got the better of me and looked up journal articles that either supported or denied this claim so looked into an old study done by S.E. Taylor in 1991 and it has been confirmed!).

I realised during my postgraduate degree that most claims like that in blog posts or through memes or other forms of obtaining information is filtered down findings obtained by journal articles… that is that someone did a study on some social claim or scientific anomaly and it was either proven or disproven. Those that have a passion/interest in that field have taken that information and shared it with the masses in a evocative manner! (The first page that comes to mind is I F*cking Love Science. This has so many interesting and funny little facts and stories I have learned from).

Taylor’s finding show that negative events can be viewed as ‘pivotal’ or ‘symbolic’ in a person’s life and therefore adds weight to the rejection (If I am getting too technical then my bad!)  What I am basically saying that for EVERYONE rejection and bad events always seem to outweigh the good and positive ones. And it is important for your own mental well being to turn a rejection or negative experience into a positive one by learning from it. This is incredibly important within a job application/professional environment. This ‘hard skin’ quality within applying for jobs is needed to keep the morale up and continuing onward towards your dream job. After reading a few blog posts on handling rejection; the best ones were The Guardian Jobs “Didn’t get the job? How to survive rejection” and Career Cast “Nine Tips to Deal with Job Search Rejection” if you are going through the same as me then I highly recommend reading them and you will feel totally motivated!

There as so many negative events that everyone has gone through/will probably go through. Some, maybe most, will be so out with your control and so horrific that you will think why me? Why do I have to go through this now? Why does this have to happen to me? And there is definitely nothing you can do in that time or moment to turn it around. That is why moments like this NEED to be turned around. Applying for jobs when you have a job is hard, applying for jobs when you do not have a job is hard and every rejection can feel like a hit on your motivation, your self esteem but YOU can turn it around! You can control how you will view this rejection and what you can take from it, what you can work on to better yourself so the next interviewer will not have the same qualms as the previous interviewer.

I am not saying never be sad or unhappy that you got rejected cause that is necessary to own those emotions but try not to let them overwhelm you; how, where, who you apply for jobs is all in your control and that is something that is all you. I have arranged with the interviewer a time for feedback on Monday so fingers crossed for me guys!

Have you ever been rejected from a job and then down the line it has turned out for the best? Or what did you learn from it? Or even better if you have your own posts that have helped you deal with rejection them please drop me the link!

Thank you for reading my lovelies

xxx

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