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Necklace: Topshop, old. Similar one here.
Top: New Look
Jeans: Zara, sold out. Alternative one here.
Shoes: Primark, old. Alternative one here.
My job situations is very up in the air at the moment. I am having a positive mind set but it is hard.
I have no clue what to do.
I do not feel comfortable going into full detail what happened because I may still have to work there for my two week notice period.
But what I said on my instagram post is exactly what happened. My role was going to be outsourced by an external company and therefore I was no longer needed.
As much as the role was very ideal and it was within the marketing field that I wanted, it was very difficult and I had a lot of restrictions that did not allow me to do the role to my fullest capabilities.
I was told under no circumstance that I was not allowed to post, comment, like, tweet, retweet or ANYTHING on social media without the okay of my line manager AND his bosses.
This was initially incredibly frustrating.
I was initially frustrated with the restrictions in the first place, if am being honest. But I soon realised that this would be a challenge for me, it would be a happy, exciting challenge to make sure I created content well in advance which I would have to do anyway in the ‘real world’.
I like challenges. I love creative challenges.
What was hard was the waiting times.
When your line manager and their bosses are really bad at communicating it made my role super difficult. I had to hound them to get back to me, and when they did get back it was always such a relief. Like yay I get to do my job this month or week depending on how much content they approved.
When you are putting a lot of restriction on an employee that is up to them whether or not they want to rise to the occasion. And I really did.
I wanted to rise and fly.
But when communication breaks down or is about shifting the blame then it will never work. And that is what I feel was the main issues in this job. Well one of them, communication and structure.
I’m dyslexic so whenever I get told what to do I always like to re-tell it back to them from my understanding and usually through this interaction I get a few initial creative ideas that I add in and ask if that is the vibe or flavour to what they are asking of me.
I love to do this so I can fully understand what is being asked of me. And I can be clear what I need to do, how I can do it (if I have to do it a certain way) and when I need to do it for (and then do it a week in advance so it can get fine tuned).
Because I am in a visual field I love showing off my initial ideas through the draft phase. However with this job it was very hard to do that. The mis communication was rife and constant.
I felt like I was extracting teeth. Trying to get constructive criticism feedback was so. Damn. Hard.
I felt like I was in between a wall and a hard place. It was very frustrating
Communication is key, structure is necessary.
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These are two aspects in a business I have always been told and I have valued.
I have worked in retail for over 8 years I understand structure. I understand the hierarchy of employment.
I’ve been in a work place where people or started after me were promoted before me, Ive been in a work place where people have made fun of me (a lot), I’ve been in a work place where I was not liked by any single person on my team and therefore would have to spend my time folding/re folding the stock and finding stuff to do to look busy. Because everyone knows that when you work in retail and your not the favourite then you better be bloody busy cause if you take a second to have a breath that’ll be the moment the manager will jump down your throat for not doing anything…
Whilst the manager favourite has been standing around talking to another member of stuff for the past 20 mins.
Yep that is retail for you.
Did I hate it? Yep. Did I cry at work a numerous times because of how uncomfortable and humiliated I felt? Of course! Would I ever go back to retail?
I’ve thought about it.
If I can not find a job by the time my two weeks are up then I will have too. I can not, not have a job. Even if it I’ll dread it and feel like shit.
There has been a long period in time that I haven’t had a job. Even if it was interning or during studies. I think the only time I didn’t have one was in my last year of honours degree.
I was working in an cliquey team.
Full of people who did not like me, and made it clear that I was someone barely tolerated and valued for my tidying and quick replenishment capabilities. (I am an untidy person in my own time but by god I am super tidy when it comes to the shop floor lol).
So if you see me in retail again… please be kind and give me a wee smile. Because even when I was crying on the shop, hating my job, my surroundings feeling so shit and crap fun and polite customers always made my day!!
It would honestly be the only thing keeping me going would be lovely customers coming and and up for a wee chat and asking for advice.
I am determined to get another marketing/social media job!!
Keep your fingers crossed for my lovelies!
Thanks for reading guys