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Hat: Primark, can’t find online. Alternative here.

Coat: Primark

Jumper: Primark, can’t find online. Alternative here.

Skirt: Zara

Socks: Old. Alternative here.

Shoes: Primark, can’t find online. Alternative here.

Photographer: Lina


I initially felt really uncomfortable attending a Vegan Pamper Night when I am NOT Vegan. I am a meat eater and not going to lie… I love meat. 

 

I didn’t want to go originally because I felt like I was being fake or I would get a lecture to from Vegans about why eating meat is bad and guilt me into being Vegan. (Another factor was, since I am unemployed, I felt like going to a Pamper Night would be too self-indulgent.)

Which I do not want to be. (I don’t want to be Vegan, not that the self indulgent part – I would love to self indulge!)

Not that I don’t understand the importance of it, and why they are doing it. I just know it isn’t for me. I’ll never say never in the future but for the time being I love meat. Looking up new and healthy protein packed recipes is one of my fave things. 

I also have just in general my initial anxiety when trying new things (even though I love meeting new people… Yes I know i am a bag of contradictions!) and potentially being put in uncomfortable situations. I have been told quite a few times that I am quite weird and react weirdly to situations. I’m beginning to love being referred to as weird. (I take it as being unique!) 

Still not comfortable with the reacting weirdly to situations observation. I find this makes other people uncomfortable and therefore me even MORE anxious. Oh god. I am such an anxious mess… its very frustrating. I don’t want to be. But as people know every day is a battle between you and your negative thoughts.

However when MG asked me to come and just hang out I thought why not! I had been meaning to do a shoot in Tempo Tea Bar aways for a while. I am such a regular customer there. I am in love with the Taro Milk Tea with Lychee and Tapioca boba, even just typing it out makes me want another one again.

I mean they have other teas, and fruity teas and healthy alternatives for the classics. They have so much more; I am just dedicated to the Taro though ahaha. 

What I found interesting is that only one out of ten people that attended was Vegan. This I didn’t find out until near the end of the event. 

So it turns out my anxiety over attending was voided. However that got me thinking… why was I feeling anxious in the first place?

Now before I get into how my pre conceived notions nearly made me miss a fun event. I want to talk about Sugar Noir.

It was run by this bubbly lovely girl who was in fact the only Vegan there! Ahaha She has learned all about making bath bombs through trial and error.

She is a Vegan and believes in Zero Waste. Because bath bombs are all about trial and errors when they didn’t go exactly to plan she would have all this left over bath concoctions – so she then decided to make bath tea bags! Which I thought was amazing!

My partner and I (We were put into teams of two!) made a curry coloured looking bath bomb that smells like chocolate mint! (It was so cool looking, looked like my furry jumper that I wore for this blog post!) And we didn’t get the water to bath-bomb-ingredient ratio right so we had ALOT of leftover bath bomb powder. So me and my partner now have lots of cute little tea bag bombs. 🙂 

I like how she said that bath bombs aren’t an exact science and it is all about the ‘feel’ of it. The way she said this sparked a connection to me.

Especially with my fashion sense. I go by what I feel goes together, which sometimes leads to lovely outfits and sometimes leads to slight malfunctions in fashion sense. 

Okay… now back to the topic at hand; Meat eater at a Vegan night… why was I uncomfortable? 


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Basically it comes down to prejudice; a negative pre conceived notion. 

I know a lot of lovely Vegans. I also know there is difference within Vegans/Vegitarians  (not entirely sure of the logistics but I know there is a difference.) Most are lovely, open and don’t mind questions nor care if you eat meat in front of them.

Which is awesome, I don’t want to change who I am but I also don’t want to make someone uncomfortable when I can easily avoid it.  

But I think I know there are some out there that take offence when you eat meat in front of them … How do I think I know this? 

Potentially through youtube rants on meat eaters?

Potentially through sit coms?

Through my own anxious thoughts projecting? 

To be honest I don’t know for a fact if any Vegans WOULD do that. Its not really something you can ask someone; ‘btw do you go into lecture mode when you see someone eating meat in front of you?’

Doesn’t sound like the most flattering question to ask. I know myself that I get into lecture mode whenever I talk about my opinions on social media, on why I don’t wear make up, why I am a big believer in divorce, etc. 

In fact I remember when I went to uni someone that was in my course, KM, was vegetarian and when we had lunch together we would ask her if it was okay if we ate meat in front of her.

She seemed very surprised (and maybe a little bit annoyed?) that we asked her that. It was like we were making an issue out of a non-issue. Which we know wasn’t the case; but I suppose when you are honest about your situation and people keep asking you the same questions over and over then it makes sense that you would be irked by it.

(We could’ve been the 10th people to ask her that today, which I know would’ve been very annoying.)

Or maybe not irked is the right word… I am not really sure how to speak about this situation. Cause I haven’t actually spoken about it with KM, this is just my impression of it and what I took from it. 

So basically being anxious about what COULD happen or who COULD potentially lecture you is waste of energy and stops you from trying new things or meeting new people.

Basically you need to have faith in yourself and in your willingness to receive information in an open manner. Receiving information and being lectured to doesn’t necessary mean you are being talked down too. Because when people are sharing it does usually come from a good place. Sometimes it doesn’t, and its important to know the difference. 

I know this. I feel this.

Will I still feel these worries in the future? Of course.

Having anxiety doesn’t stop because you know it isn’t logical or you know you are a good person and don’t mean nor want to offend others. 

But remember if you are anything like me and get anxious it is important to not get defensive – I know I get like that and I need to stop. When I am defensive I know I get flustered/angry and don’t listen very well.

What makes you most anxious? Does it make you angry too?

 

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