GET THE LOOK
Scarf: Christmas Pressie.
Coat: Primark, can’t find online. Similar here.
Top: New Look, old. Similar here.
Skirt: Zara, old. Similar here.
Fleece Tights: Primark, old. Similar here.
Shoes: Zara, old. Similar here.
This is hard for me to explain concisely… basically the definition of success is entirely situational. It is/should be unique to you as an individual based on your personal expectations and capabilities.
The definition of success is clarified in the Collins English dictionary as;
which I actually agree with… which is surprising. Sometimes when I look up the meaning of words I tend to disagree. Other times I genuinely didn’t understand the meaning of them at all and came up with my own!
The second definition that Collins identified is:
This I don’t agree with. Interestingly enough the collins dictionary has 4 separate definitions of Success. I guess that goes to show you that even the dictionary, that is meant to define the meaning of words, can not pin point the exact meaning.
That is because there is no context.
In order to know the definition of success you need to first have an end destination, your end destination needs to be build up through your own wants, for what you want for yourself and who you wish to become.
My personal definition of success is achieving that end destination… that end goal and then creating a new one. I have not specified an end goal here because I am continuously forming a couple. I have my own ultimate end goal, which is to be my own boss and manage my own team.
Am I doing steps to achieve that?
Potentially. I currently do my blog for my own personal use. I basically want to reach out to other people that are similar to me. To make bonds, bounce ideas off of each other in a fair and constructive way that doesn’t belittle others and creates a safe space for discussion.
A sort of neutral ground shall we say. Like Switzerland.
I am so grey its unbelievable… by this word I mean I do my best to not see situations in black and white, but shades of grey. Even when I come to a definitive stance it is usually changed by some new information or new way of thinking that is shared with me. I think oh wow…. my brain didn’t even go there!
Which I love.
I love to learn new things or new points of view.
Does that mean that I am most of the time considered wrong?
Do I sometimes get angry at being proven wrong?
Pfft… again, of course.
I hate being wrong. But I love learning new things and new thought processes so its a typical Gemini mindset, where I love one side of it and hate the other.
I read an interesting article by Shana Lebowitz called 12 Rich, Powerful People share their Surprising Definitions of success and it ranged from Richard Branson to Maya Angelou. Most of the definitions I can definitely agree with but the most that struck a cord with me is the one by spiritual teacher, Deepak Chopra.
No word of a lie I have no clue who this Mr Chopra is… according the the article by Lebowitz he is a physician and author… since I resonate with his definition I feel like I should know who he is or have at least come across him sooner. So I will probably research him when I am on one of my curiosity quests.
(Side note: do you ever get random thoughts like that? Like something obsolete and spontaneous pops into your head and you think you know what I am going to google that, and then it leads to more things that you want to find out more about and its like a quest for answers?)
Anyways sorry back to my definition.
I think my own personal definition of success is to be continually growing, learning and making myself better. Not compared to other people but to myself. Or my past self.
I want to be better than what I used to be. I want to achieve my dream job. I want to be happy and be around people that see me for the real me, and want to be around me in spite of my downfalls and because of my positives.
I never used to be like this though. This measure of success through myself and my continuous growth is something that is relatively new to me.
Do you want to know what my version of success used to be? Do you want to know what I used to wish for when I was younger? And understand how much I have changed?
GET THE LOOK
The way I think now, about success, is defined differently within every person and within different categories of life. Back then I had a very narrow focus on what success was. Which is never good for anyone.
However, a narrow focus can be good if you take into consideration your own capabilities and natural talents/skillset. Therefore you are just dedicated and drive rather than narrow minded and blind.
I want to tell you because it is such a long, long way to who I am now that it is laughable… genuinely laughable.
I am so different to the person I used to be that the thought of wanting that measure of success is impossible… for me.
When I was younger my measure of success used to be to get married to the man of my dreams that would treat me right, have kids and be a stay at home mum by 25 years old/have a part time menial job that I did just to get money.
Now… I need to clarify something I am not saying that a stay at home mum is laughable. Not at all! I have seen so many amazing people be amazing stay at home mums and I know they are happy and to me that is the best success anyone can have.
But for me it isn’t possible.
For one… I am 29 now (As you probably guessed by my ‘feeling fine at 29’ post. ahaha) so I’ve already made my past success measure an impossibility.
Second… I never met my future husband. I’ve had boyfriends. I’ve had pretty serious relationships… but its always ended up in heartbreak. Either they’ve fucked me over or I’ve fucked them over and I just haven’t met him/her.
Tbh I don’t even think my mr future-baby-daddy exists. Hence why I have my ‘back up plan.’
And Thirdly, and most importantly, I am a completely different person to who I was a year ago let alone 10 years ago. I find myself growing in confidence, finally, of learning to compare myself to my past self and not to others. I like to be inspired by others as a means of motivation to push myself and create my own goals.
I find that I love to keep myself busy, I love to feed my curiosity and continually growing in mind and body.
Like I said before I am a typical Gemini, I am either all in or all out; If I sit around doing nothing. Then I will literally sit around doing nothing for a week and be set. But if I keep myself busy with topics and projects to do then I am a productive little machine.
THAT is the side of me that I love.
That drive and determination makes me happy.
That is the type of success I want: To continually grow myself and my mental horizons.
I used to be so narrow minded. I wasn’t happy in myself and in what I thought I should want (husband and kids at a young age etc.). And where I thought I should be because of how others are and how others want to succeed.
They aren’t me and I am not them.
Success can only truly be defined by knowing yourself and knowing where and who you want to be in the future.
You determine raising kids and being a stay at home parent as success? BRILLIANT!!
You want to be your own boss and manage a team? AMAZING!!
You want to be happy when you wake up in the morning and you measure success on how happy you are no matter what your doing? YASSS!
You do you boo.
Do not let someone else dictate how successful you are. Only you can determine what your success measure is and where it takes you.
Now you know how I feel about this topic… how would you define success?
Thanks for reading lovelies.
- 12 rich, powerful people share their surprising definitions of success by Shana Lebowitz
- How to Define Success (and Why Your Success Depends on It) by Matt Valentine
- What Is Your Definition Of “Success”? by Hannah Kilpatrick