And the review continues on… this 2018 Review: Part 2 covers my posts from May to August!
- This post I talk about my first love, HM, and how I was so attached to him. In fact I generalise that nearly everyone feels that way about their first love, because you’ve never been in love before. You have nothing to compare it too and therefore you just fall.
- Another fact I bring up is that I love to listen to sad songs when I am writing! Ahaha I have no clue why I’ve always been a person that listens to sad songs to get inspiration or when I want to zone out and just write. Anyone else like that?
- I also think this is the first time I reference LF. He is another ex of mine that it didn’t end well but I would happily still speak to him and be there for him if he needed me. He isn’t a regular part of my life but then again I’m not a regular part of his – we are both pretty bad at keeping in contact with people in general.
- I can 100% say that this is the first ever look that I’ve posted which now makes me cringe – I would never wear this look again… I have no clue what I was thinking. No… just no. I like the idea of it… polka dots on polka dots but just the whole outfit together just looks off to me. I like to wear what I am feeling or loving at the moment. I don’t want to over think things because I want to be true to myself and my style. So yeah… I wouldn’t wear this again.
- This post was my attempt at not being so serious. I read over my blog posts and came to the realisation that I am one serious person! And that is not all that i am. So I attempted to share some random facts with you.
- One of them being that I am a massive bookworm – when I was younger I would sometimes just sit and chill reading whilst my friends were getting ready for a night out. I would be ready… but just wanted to jump back into another world before i had to go out and face the scary world of socialising when you lack confidence in yourself or your looks.
In honour of mental health awareness month…
- This happened around the time Frightened Rabbit, Scott Hutchinson, lost his battle with mental health and I felt that I had to speak about my views on mental health – specifically in connection with men.
- I speak about how much I hate, absolutely hate the term ‘man up’. I just think its so demeaning and condescending. I think that something like that can be said to lighten the mood when shit gets to serious and you want to have a laugh. But there are times when that saying is just degrading when a guy opens up and just immediately gets shut down.
- I also mentioned a scary statistic of at least 42% of men in the UK has considered suicide – and this was quoted from the community called Men’s Mind Matter and they are providing ways to better the psychological well being of men and boys. (http://www.mensmindsmatter.org
- This post is a continuation of mental health awareness month… I specifically talk about my views on stress and how I read a free report provided by the Mental Health Foundation.
- And apparently there is a difference between a stressor and a trigger… which I thought were inter-changable. Apparently not. ahaha. I like to put in definitions to words because I sometimes feel that everyone has slight differences in them. And I like to make sure everyone understands where I am coming from.
- I really loved finding out when I am always anxious – is because when your over exposed to stressful events for long periods of time your body’s flight or fight response is always ‘on’ so it makes someone that has the disposition more likely to feel overwhelmed or unable to cope.
Feeling fine at 29….
- THIS IS MY BIRTHDAY MONTH!! Woohooo I am a june baby which is awesome because I love the warm weather/seasons. And I am even happier that i managed to get a good wee rhyme in my blog title 😀 .
- In this post I tough on the situation with my dad, and how I have apparently not changed since I was a kid – by that I don’t mean physically – but personalty wise. The way I interact with people has been the same since I was a kid. I find observations like that very intriguing.
- And I talk about the type of partner I want in my life, which upon reflection kind of describes my current boyfriend… which is weird. Its like a nice omen. Although it is still early days between my boyfriend and I. But so far he’s the description I said in this post.
- I talk about the facebook function that shows you memories from several years past. And apparently I spent the last few birthdays with my exes which makes me uncomfortable. At the time I was very much single and it made go bleh…. like why did I post relationship stuff when I could’ve posted fun stuff with my friends?
- I made this post a half post about my birthday presents, I couldn’t make it all about my presents because I get all emotional and mushy. I don’t make friends that easily, so the ones I do have just get all my overly enthusiastic gushing at them and words of appreciation – which is just plain embarrassing… for both parties. For me cause I can feel that I am scaring them, and for them because well…. its just sooooo extra ahahaha.
- This was the birthday I got my beats headphones… which in hindsight were a bloody godsend! I love, love them! They are so so handy when am at the gym and move in between sets. It means I am not constantly detangling myself from my headphone cables or having to wipe the sweat of my phone cause I need to have it somewhere on my body to keep listening to my beats!
Baby talk is cheap…
- The tile of this blog post is inspired by an episode of Sex and the City. You know the one were Miranda dates a guy that like to talk dirty and then she ‘takes it too far’? Which is something I tend to do on a regular basis but thankfully it just gets laughed at!
- I basically talk about how much I hate liars, especially those that tell pretty little lies to get into your pants. So what I was describing without even realising it was – fuckbois! ahaha! My current boyfriend says that I have a type of guys I tended to go for is fuck boys… I was all set to disagree with him put upon reflection… he was right.
- This is also the first post that I mention Euro trip guy – someone I was seeing who wanted to be exclusive to just go on a trip and then cheat on me. I actually mentioned him before in another post – his initials were JS. But I wanted to just put him into another category. I think it was partly because he was so happy at being mentioned that I was a bit like… nah. I don’t wanna do that anymore. A bit petty? Yeah….
Men are dicks and women are psychos…
- Now this is the post that cost me a job! 😀 This one came across as too aggressive which it absolutely isnt!
- This post basically talks about how the words psycho and dicks are too overused when speaking about exes. I think its an over generalised way of describing someone that you fucked over and they reacted appropriately. No one is going to take kindly to you fucking them over – and isn’t really annoying that they never go into explanation as to why they are a ‘psycho’ or ‘dick’? I always ask for explanations.
- This is where I also acknowledge my psycho side; the anger and jealousy. Which is something every single one of my exes are very familiar with.. sorry.
- Another blurb box was displayed on this post… which I actually stopped doing… I felt like it was a bit too much… and also my subscription to Photoshop expired and I didn’t have time to get it up and running again! Ahaha so its half practically, half wanting the images to be my photos.
- This is when I talk about the differences in being an extroverted introvert to an introverted extrovert. This biggest difference is where you get your energy from – do you feel drained being alone or with groups of people? I get my energy from being alone – I need to time to recharge. But I love talking to people and meeting new folk.
- I also give 19 examples of being an extroverted introvert and how that relates to me. The biggest one is number 7: “People think we’re flirtatious. We’re not.” I’ve been told I come across as flirty but I just feel like am being friendly!
- This talks about my intention to start a family – on my own. I think that if you want to start a family and your single then it makes sense to give yourself allocated time to mentally prepare yourself for single parenthood. I didn’t want to get into a relationship with someone thinking – right I have to be with them for X amount of years before we can bring up the subject of children and therefore in order to follow my own time line then I need to find the future father of my babies either now or in a few months.
- So I just want to take the strain out of a potential new relationship by constantly worrying if they will be a good father or if they even want children. What I have decided is to, if i still want too, have children when I turn 34. I’ve already asked a few of my gay friends if they would donate sperm and they said they would.
- This post also talks about how I am taking a breather from men… as touching them gives me the ick. Which is true I went through a period when I didn’t want any contact with anyone.. but then my libido got the better of me and that had to change! ahaha
- I did this shoot on the top of the Axiom building and it was so, so much fun! It was such a hot day and I loved walking through city centre in my spanish-y inspired outfit.
- I am so sad to say that I cant wear those shorts anymore… that is the down side of loosing weight and getting into fitness – a lot of your clothes that you love and will never get again don’t fit anymore. Anyone know any good tailors in Glasgow?
- Another insight is… I never wore those heels again. But i’ve still kept them because they are so. damn. beautiful!! I love them and I want to wear them again but I just haven’t thought about how or to what occasion.
your happy place…
- This shoot was done with one my old friends SP. I met SP when I used to live and work in Dundee, and we kept in contact since then. Which is awesome 🙂 SP and they partner GK are one of thee most cutest couples ever! Love you guys!
- This blazer I bought in the River Island sale because it reminded my soooo mum of the Temperley London fashion show in my LFW Review that I just had to have it. Polka dot mixed in with oriental print!? Yes please!!
- I also combined this with a white lingerie body from H&M … which is now sold out. I really like the cross over chest detailing on it.
my job situation…
- This one talks about how the restrictive the job I was doing before I lost it.
- The shoot was done in Edinburgh as well, along about the same time I was shooting the blazer photo. This one was also done rather quickly – it started to rain so needed to get this sorted asap.
- I sound so determined to get my dream job – ie a marketing managers role in a fashion brand!
Ex’s …friend or backburner?
- This post was inspired by an article written by Haley Nahman, who does posts for the ManRepeller! This titled Can You Be Friends With an Ex No Strings Attached? and it inspired me to write my own opinions on this topic.
- This shoot was actually done by my mum! She did this while we were babysitting my sis’ kids! This is one of my favourite shoots to date and I was actually really worried that it wouldn’t look good. But they turned out AMAZINGLY!
- These Zara mules were the first and only pair I’ve ever bought and they are comfy as hell. Wearing them, even on sand, was so easy to do and weren’t sore at all. I used to question before how people could walk on them… but with those I don’t need to wonder.
- This post is about an awkward sexual experience I had with an okay guy – an experience that left me with the urge to go on my celibacy. Which to be fair didn’t last long, but it was definitely necessary.
- This shoot was done in Nottingham when I went to visit my adopted brother CD. My mum didn’t adopt him, he is just an old friend of mine that i consider my bro! I went to Nottingham to ask him to donate his sperm to my back up plan cause. . . which he said he would consider. But it is a lot to ask for so I am not pressuring him.
- I got this little jumpsuit out of primark and i still have it… it is honestly such a lovely little jumpsuit that I want to wear on a regular basis… but I accidentally ripped the side ring thingy to hold up the tie..(whats that called again?!) And I haven’t gotten round to sewing it back together again.
career or sex..
- This was me pondering whether or not you can have a fulfilling sex life AND professional life… cause so far it was always one or the other with me.
- I did a poll of this on my instagram stories and a lot of people said yes. You can be in a fulfilling sexual relationship and still pursue your career goals. Which I am slowly beginning to see.
- Also… this shoot was done in the Glasgow airport! Ahaha it was before my mum, Khaya and I were all set to go to Benidorm for a week. Which was a lot of fun.. not just the shoot… but the holiday!
- Just a heads up… doing a shoot in the middle of a busy fringe weekend is never ever easy… its over crowded and your carrying around a heavy duffle bag filled with clothe to change into/camera stuff.
- Also when you do shoots and get a space, other people follow suit and sometimes line up to take your spot when your finished.
- I also don’t mind the fact you can see my nipple outline in the shoot… normally I would be really self conscious about my nipples being on show. But since I’ve reduced the amount of times I wear bras greatly I’ve begun to not really care. Although I say that… if anyone were to point it out I would feel self conscious! Ahaha
Thank you so much for reading lovelies. Its been a weird reviewing my past blog posts and seeing how much I need to improve. I like having stuff to work on and at the same time I am frustrated that I haven’t refined myself yet.
Which is another aspect of my life that I need to self develop.
Thank you so much for all of your support, I really appreciate it!